Master Cleanse: DAY ONE

10:00 am
It's Sunday, February 14th and I really wanted to start the detox today so I could get more days in before Friday, the day I plan on ending it. I drank my Smooth Move herbal tea last night (Feb. 13), although, I knew there was a chance I wouldn't start until late afternoon today. I had prior plans to eat at IHOP with Karmalynn - I like IHOP in small amounts lol. However, I overslept because I was up late painting. Sorry Karm!

Anyhow, before I let my ADD get the best of me... the Smooth Move Tea doesn't taste awful. The closest I can describe it would be to say it tastes like, umm, probably drinking hot water with black licorice in your cup. Haha, I don't mind it. The point of the herbal laxative tea is to loosen up all the "gunk" in my bowel/colon/ intestines, so it can be flushed out with the salt water flush today. It can cause mild cramps but nothing major worth writing about. In past experiences with doing this detox with people, guys tend to have a hard time with the cramps. Yes boys, that's nothing compared to menstrual cramps - be blessed you baby!! Haha...


1:15 pm
The salt water flushes are so NECESSARY! That's how you keep from getting too symptomatic and it's how you get rid of whatever stored up junk you have in your body. While doing The Master Cleanse, I prefer using liquid containers with capacity measurements on the container. I normally gather up all my Nalgene bottles - using one for the salt water flush and two separate ones for my lemonade for the day.

32 oz. of water and 2tsps of sea salt later (that's teaspoons not tablespoons, you'll be sorry if you make that mistake lol), I completed the salt water flush (SWF). I recommend "pounding' it because it's not the best tasting drink. I was in and out of the bathroom for the next 30 minutes after finishing the 32 oz. of SWF. It's not pretty in no way lol but it's not THAT bad! It's just awesome to know it's all coming out lol. Btw, I'm gonna talk about my trips to the bathroom and other body secretions throughout this cleanse, so if you consider me to be somewhat attractive, just leave this blog this instant!!! Haha ;-)

Ok back to that nitty gritty BM talk... after the SWF, it's like peeing the entire 32 oz. from your crap hole! Nothing clear in color, like diarrhea but not diarrhea - get me?? lmao. But it only lasts for that 30 min. after... and it's not like you're running to get to the bathroom or anything, you just know when it's time to go. I'd suggest for those that wanna try this cleanse, you wake up 30 min. earlier each morning, so you can get this flush over with before having to go to work. It's pretty simple, then again, maybe I've done this enough times to know what to expect... or maybe I have no problem talking about digestion and crap haha.

9:30pm
I was able too drink my lemonade today with little fuss, tastes good! Although, my first 32 oz. was mega spicy because I put too much cayenne pepper in it haha! My cravings were at a minimum, I wasn't so really hungry, yet, it was in my head that I needed to eat the moment I smelled what my sister and mom were cooking up. My sister just ended her detox the other day and I cant help but feel jealous :) Today was a chill detox day, lets see how tomorrow feels.

Overall symptoms:
My sinuses started to drain. I'm not sure if the cayenne pepper overload was to blame haha or if it was because of the detox. Past cleanses, sinus drainage was the first symptom. Next, I did get a mild headache. This could be due to caffeine withdrawals and/or being dehydrated coming into this cleanse. I was craving fruit at the beginning so I suspect dehydration. Lastly, my legs began to ache not too long ago. Normally, my legs ache when I'm way too tired and up past my 18hr mark, I haven't been up nearly that long yet, so I figure it's the detox.

Day 1 by the numbers:
Lemonade consumed: 64oz

Pounds lost: 2 today, 2 lost total
Measurements (bust, waist, hips): 37 in. x 29 in. x 40in.
Energy level 
(1-10 — 1=dead weight, 10=olympian): 8

Hunger level (1-10 — 1=poster boy for famine, 10=fuck food): 5