Give Peace a Chance...

In celebration of the 40th anniversary of Yoko Ono and John Lennon’s "Bed-In for Peace & Nonviolence", the World March for Peace and Nonviolence Committee will be holding a “Bed-In for Peace and Nonviolence” on August 16th from 1 p.m. – 4 p.m. Participants will gather at the Cherry Hill Fountain Terrace in Central Park (New York City), where they will pay tribute to John Lennon, and Yoko Ono, and the timeless cause for peace.

The "concept of peace" in bed started with John Lennon and Yoko Ono during the Vietnam War, in 1969. The couple held two weeklong Bed-Ins for Peace in Amsterdam and Montreal where John and Yoko spent their honeymoon in bed. John Lennon wrote one of his greatest songs while he was chilling in bed, "Give Peace a Chance".

The pair stood for peace - that was a given, you could hear it in their words and music. However, them staying in bed those few weeks in peace proved to be their strongest non-violent way of protesting war. When asked by a reporter what they were trying to achieve by staying in bed, Lennon answered spontaneously "All we are saying is give peace a chance". Point taken :-)

I try to find deeper meanings in everything I do, read, hear, and see. I'm so fascinated with different life philosophies and concepts. I tend to take the things I learn about and come across (events and music included) and apply them to my own personal journey. Living here on the east coast, I've been hearing a lot lately about the 40th " Bed-In for Peace & Nonviolence " Day being held in NYC tomorrow. I've been quite intrigued and interested in the concept for a few years now, more so this past week because of all the local noise surrounding it and also because I've been searching for answers to find peace with certain things happening in my life right now.

I think the worst feeling in the world for me is to feel like I'm getting punk'd and there isn't a single thing I can do about it - especially when it comes to my enemies. I really dislike using the word “enemies” because I'd like to think I don't have any enemies and also because I try to avoid the dramatics of it all. However, there are a select few that choose to play the part, causing certain situations to come up that cause me to feel like I'm being pushed. I find it takes my whole being to keep from letting in and retaliating on some sort of way. But I do know it'll take one slight reaction from me to make things worse. So I've been trying to find an alternative path to create peace between these people and I. Today it finally came to me -- peace exists when you do nothing.

I'll give peace a chance for once and do nothing, not even be angered. I will sit here in the beautiful existence I call my own and live - because really, that's my only job. War is over...

Happy “Bed-In for Peace & Nonviolence” Day tomorrow ya’ll :-)

Be blessed…


Make TODAY Your Special Occasion...

I look in my closet each day thinking, "Crap, I have nothing to wear!!” And each time, I swear to go shopping as soon as I can find the time to do so. However, I'd be wrong to imply that I own little to no clothes. I own a lot of clothes actually, a good amount of them with the tags on still, yet, I save them for "special occasions". I save them for different trips or special engagements, never enjoying them for everyday wearing.

I have these green and white Pumas that I have yet to wear. I bought them in January!! I keep holding out on these and many more, to find the perfect matching shirt or the perfect event, in which I'll need brand spanking new white shoes. I love those shoes!! However, I've kept myself from enjoying them.

I've always been a saver for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I'd organize my personal belongings into "normal" and "favorite" - whether it be candy, shoes, paints, or blank journals I had received as gifts. I'd rarely enjoy my "favorites" because I wanted to save them. I'd use my mediocre paints, eat the cheap Halloween candy, or wear my old shoes instead - delaying my gratification of what I really wanted.

Sometimes being the saver was very useful because it's kept me from indulging in a lot of instant gratification behaviors like over-spending, over-drinking, over-eating, etc. But now as I look at my tendency to hoard items without ever using them, I start to see patterns that go deeper than clothes. The saver in me has kept me from enjoying some nice things like beads, fabric, food, eye shadow, towels & linen, beautiful lingerie that is tucked in the back of a drawer, shoes, and most of all - my own personal feelings.

In past relationships, I saved the "best me" for a day when I would feel comfortable enough with myself to reveal myself. That day never really ever came because I had spent most my time never living in the NOW of things, resulting in two unhappy people. I see now that this isn't a way to live. I missed out on a lot, imagining and holding out for that "better day".

I’m not going to wait anymore for special occasions to enjoy all the fine things, especially when it comes to happiness! Why save it up in a can when you can be happy TODAY? I’m realizing this is the perfect way to create more happiness. Happiness and instant gratification isn’t meant to be stored in a can of savings.

If there are things in your life you are not enjoying now because you think you will enjoy them more someday in the future, set your saver free and indulge yourself. Wear your really good underwear, take yourself out in the outfit that is collecting dust in your closet, plan the trip you've been waiting to take, wear those green and white Pumas! What are you waiting for? Make TODAY your special occasion.

Every day you are alive is a special occasion….

Be blessed…


Ending It With Love Not Hate...

I was thinking to myself the other day as I was driving back to Phoenix from LA how “well-versed” I feel these days when it comes to relationships. Psh, I better be – I’ve spent the past 18 months analyzing myself and the 10 years I've spent in relationships, along with the different elements needed to make or not make a relationship!!! Haha. I was thinking about how fascinating and interesting I find it all to be and I wonder now, if I can find a job doing this kind of stuff? I’m so serious too lol. Think I’ll look into motivational/inspirational speaking sometime in the near future :-) Anyhow, during this drive, the focus of my thoughts were - knowing when to end a relationship that isn’t working.

Drama. Deceit. Devastation. It’s not just reality TV, it’s the reality that most of us experience when we end a relationship, because we don’t and won’t leave our men until we reach the point of hating, hurting and hardly speaking… a.k.a. the ‘bad breakup.’ Why do we make it so hard on ourselves? Why can’t we end it before our relationship gets to such a painful place? The truth is, for centuries women have been taught to believe, “If I love this man, and he loves me, that’s enough, no matter how exhausted, unhappy or lonely I feel. I must stay and make it work, or keep trying until things get so bad I can justify the ending. Love is supposed to conquer all, right?” Wrong! You can love a man and choose not to be with him. Love is not enough of a reason to stay in a relationship.

I used to believe that breakups were exactly that: a break-up in which it was “broken”. However, I’m starting to see differently… while breakups are always sad, they don’t have to be devastating. What makes a good breakup and what relationship lies do we believe to stay in an unhappy relationship?

LIE: You don’t break up until you’ve fallen out of love.
TRUTH: Once you love someone, you love them forever. People fall out of trust, intimacy, and respect - not love.

“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” How many of us have either heard or uttered those words as we walked head first into a bad breakup? What a cop out! I’ve never used that one but it’s a common breakup line. People don't fall in and out of love, as if love can be measured. People fall out of trust, intimacy and respect, and usually for good reasons. The problem is that those real reasons never get communicated to our partner because we use cop out phrases like “I’m just not in love with you any more.” And just how is a person supposed to respond to that? Usually all the receiver can feel is confusion and deep hurt, while the breaker upper gets let off the hook of communicating his or her real feelings.

Be honest about the ‘whys’ but keep love out of it. Be honest about the real “why’s” this relationship is no longer working, which have nothing to do with love. Think about intimacy, respect, truth and trust, and where you fell short. Be clear about why this relationship is no longer right for you, without making the other person wrong.

Keep the love going inside and between you.
It’s okay to love each other and still choose to end your relationship; in fact it’s the best way. Be kind to each other throughout the process. Remember that you are friends, that you care about each other, and that you do want the best for the other person. And while the breakup will still be sad, it won’t be dramatic or deceitful.

LIE: If my relationship ends, the whole thing was a failure.
TRUTH: The failure is trying to keep a dead relationship alive.

We are meant to have multiple relationships in our lifetime, which means it is natural for relationships to end. We cause unnecessary suffering for ourselves by prolonging relationships way past their expiration date and by beating ourselves up for not making our relationship work.

See every relationship as a teacher. Every relationship is meant to teach you more about yourself and what you want from your life and from a partner. Remember that this is your life, and you will have many people come in and out of it. When a relationship ends, be grateful for what it and your partner have taught you. Express that gratitude to your former guy. Every relationship is meant to teach you more about yourself and what you want from your life. Take those learnings with you.

LIE: I’ll never be loved again. He was the one.
TRUTH: You are ‘the one’ and the more you love you, the more love you’ll attract.

Be kind and loving to you. Breakups are hard and emotional, even when the breakup is good. Make sure that you do things to love yourself throughout the process: Have your messy emotions, take mental health days and pamper yourself, remember how great of a woman you are, and surround yourself with friends who can both listen to you and keep you remembering that this breakup is about you creating your best life, and not about how much someone loves you.

Be blessed…

Ending notes: I’m no expert! This blog, or any other blog before or after, are just my thoughts and insight. I’d like to think I know a thing or two lol but really, I’m still just finding my own two darn feet.